I got a you-need-advising email today from the College of Liberal Arts at UAF. It was a bit of a wake up call. That- and the impending stress of applying for housing abroad, coupled with some complicated forms I needed to get signed to apply for my PFD- have made me realize in the last two weeks that as much as I feel like I'm never going home, I will eventually be going home.
I would venture to say that for the first six months of my life abroad, I was living with the large caveat of loving Alaska miles more than I could ever love Florence. And so everything I did and felt and saw functioned around that.
But ever since I've moved to Jordan, I've found a corner of the world in Amman that I love in more ways than any place I have ever loved. Because here I laugh so hard I spill honey in my shoes. Here Ghadeer brings us strawberries on Tuesday mornings just because. Here we celebrate half-birthdays with half-cakes and fruit salad. Here we walk up hills into the night with the city around us, and sit in parked cars eating cupcakes. Here- yanni, here- the alphabet is an art form that I have learned to sound out.
Eventually, though, I will go back to Alaska, as the email from CLA so lovingly pointed out. And as much as people have told me, just don't think about it, I can't not think about it. It's there. Impending heartbreak scheduled down to the day.
I would venture to say that for the first six months of my life abroad, I was living with the large caveat of loving Alaska miles more than I could ever love Florence. And so everything I did and felt and saw functioned around that.
But ever since I've moved to Jordan, I've found a corner of the world in Amman that I love in more ways than any place I have ever loved. Because here I laugh so hard I spill honey in my shoes. Here Ghadeer brings us strawberries on Tuesday mornings just because. Here we celebrate half-birthdays with half-cakes and fruit salad. Here we walk up hills into the night with the city around us, and sit in parked cars eating cupcakes. Here- yanni, here- the alphabet is an art form that I have learned to sound out.
Eventually, though, I will go back to Alaska, as the email from CLA so lovingly pointed out. And as much as people have told me, just don't think about it, I can't not think about it. It's there. Impending heartbreak scheduled down to the day.
Hope will open doors that are unimaginable. *
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