Spring cleaning my life

I'm having this moment right now where I just want to throw everything superfluous in my life away.

e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g.  Guys.  EVERYTHING.

While packing up my apartment in Fairbanks, I threw things away.  And while unpacking at home in Anchorage, I threw things away.  And now everything is clean and organized, and I want to just go through all my shelves several more times to find things to throw away.

Even though this militant spring (prolonged winter?) cleaning feels physical (stuff, stuff and more stuff), it's a metaphor.

I spent the last year pouring my soul into the newspaper.  It was frustrating and rewarding, but mostly really busy.  It sucked up all my time to think, so I just plunged into what was the next logical step: journalism internships.  I have good experience and good writing clips, but none of the roughly 40 places I applied for summer journalism internships at hired me.

This is not a woe is me fest.  In addition to being great, I am also terrible: I tweet too casually, I sometimes throw away things that should be recycled and I don't do my fair share of the dishes.  Honestly, I can see why nobody wanted me as their little reporting intern.

But, leveling with y'all: I'm frustrated.  This experience is making me reevaluate my whole relationship with my future.  Which, admittedly, has never been particularly clear.  But I feel like I've pursued journalism wholeheartedly and single-mindedly for a little while, and I used to have other interests, guys.  I like classical music and history and Arabic.  What did I miss out on this year?

I'm approaching the question of: wait, do I even like journalism with the same cavalier attitude I'm using to ask: wait, do I even like that sweatshirt?  Do I see myself wearing it in the future and liking it?

If no one comes up with a good answer, it's all going to Value Village.